Dear Mama | Midland, MI

I always dreamed about what it was going to be like to become a mother. I thought I had it figured out and it was not only going to be a simple task to get pregnant but easy to be that mother I had dreamed of becoming. Of course, God had other plans for how it would all play out. I found myself in much despair and at a loss because my dream was not as simple and easy as I thought. Likewise I feared that becoming a mother was never going to happen for me. I so badly want to be the kind of mother you are because you make it look so easy!

I wondered how I would ever experience motherhood at all. But also feared the path God was leading me down and the pain of childbirth. First, how would I ever know the hardest part wouldn’t be in the labor and delivery room?  Second, how would I comprehend what it entails to not only bring a child into this world, but also become forever attached to them? Finally, how would I know what it feels like to wear my heart on my sleeve where it can’t be protected? But most importantly how would I know what that unconditional, fierce love feels like?

You know the yearning of wanting to become a mother, the pain of childbirth and how it feels, what it is like to bring a child into this world and be forever attached to them, how to wear your heart on your sleeve and it not be protected, and how to love fiercely. You couldn’t explain this to me just yet, but when I was prepared there wasn’t a need for explanation!

When I became the mother that I had dreamed of becoming, I walked in your shoes for the first time. I saw the world in a whole different way. I heard your thoughts, felt your fears, lived your joys and cried your tears.

You have worked tirelessly and loyally to attend my every need. You always do what matters most and never look for recognition. At times you have felt completely unnoticed for your efforts that you have labored for. But mom I notice you now! Most importantly I know what you have done for me and my siblings. You often where exhausted because the laundry never ended and the house was dirty after you cleaned it. I know you didn’t have a lot of time to yourself because one of us always needed you. But you woke up each day putting tasks aside to focus on each of us. You gave up so much to create a steady home for us to grown up in. You chose us instead of yourself continually.

Your heart instantly melts when those precious arms wrap around your neck and that little voice says “I love you mama”. I accomplish things, and it completely captivates you. Sprinkling these little moments through the years makes everything so worth it. Now that I am a mother myself, you stopped being just my mom. You turned into a friend, a confidante, and a companion that understands me without the words. Thank you for teaching me what motherhood is all about and blessing me with your willingness, your sacrifices, and selfless service. I am beyond grateful to have such a caring, loving mother like you.

You continue to do it for the same reason I do it every day. I was always aware of your sacrifices, but love has changed its meaning when I laid eyes on my children for the first time. Love became doing the unthinkable, the most difficult, the ordinary, and the thankless, all because of the existence of two tiny humans that are the very best part of me. I have realized that not only throughout my life you were there, but you have faithfully done what you will never stop doing and that is not only deeply love me but also passionately love the tiny miracles God blessed me with.

The sacrifices you make each day for me and my children are unmeasurable. I am beyond grateful knowing that my children are receiving that same unconditional, fierce love I did. It is pure joy knowing that my children are blessed with such a caring, loving Nana. I pray some day that my children will thank you for the blessing that you give them every day.

Thank you mom and I love you!!!!